The little things:
Suzanne den Exter

The first week of this new year, my long term boyfriend wished his colleagues a healthy and happy new year.

A year earlier, a relative had mentioned to me that in his opinion those wishes were just common practise (not very meaningful in his opinion), he is unfortunately no longer on this planet to repeat those words.

Just 3 days after the first working day in the new year, one of their colleagues was waiting at the train station, to pick up a colleague (Z), to go to work together. (Z) being the main partner of my boyfriend at work for the past 2,5 years. He did not arrive at the train station. Later that day, they heard that (Z), still young, went to work that day but never arrived. He got a heart attack on the way and did not make it through unfortunately, in spite of many efforts. My boyfriend remembered that his colleague (Z) had spoken of going to see his doctor when his holiday would start in a week’s time.

This is not meant to be a horror story, but as a reminder to phone and /or try to see your friends and those who are dear to you, we never know when we might not be able to. The little things are the big things. I am glad my boyfriend regularly (literally) went out of his way to bring this colleague home after working late, that they attended the same event in the fall and met his daughter, even though it was my boyfriend’s holiday then and he wasn’t overly enthusiastic about going beforehand.

We never know if the ‘big thing’ we might have in mind may happen, it is the little things that make a difference. Having coffee together, making one’s life that little bit easier when we can.

It got confirmed in a wonderful documentary which aired in December, by the somewhat famous Belgian psychiatrist Dirk de Wachter who was overseeing his work and life and mentioned that the fabric of good relationships consists of the little things.

I used to organise events at the companies I have worked with and I was told I was standing out in doing so by having an eye for and arranging the little things, the details, a bit of help where needed.